MsDeniseRose

Happy Wednesday everyone!

Tonight I am attending my first WW meeting with my bestest friend. She and I have very different issues. But are completely in the same boat. I cannot wait to start this journey with her. We have both lost weight on our own before, but never tried together. Plus she lives far away, but now with the weekly meetings we will get to see each other every week! Her wedding is less then a year away now, so it is perfect timing for a nice, healthy life change that won’t be too drastic and help us keep it off. I am the maid of honor, and she deserves me looking fabulous standing by her side while she marries the man of her dreams. Our first time trying on dresses is going to be in Novemeber, which I think is perfect so I can take a picture in it, and have that as one long-term motivation.

After WW I am going to my new gym. I signed up the other day like I said I would, just haven’t gone yet. Kinda nervous/excited. Its a very small gym. Once I go a few times to feel comfortable I will feel better.

Still struggling daily with temptations, but I will not let it get me down. Pretty pumped to be held accountable for my food with someone other then me myself and I.

Hope everyone is doing fabulous!!

Hey everyone!

I tried to send a message to a lot of you that I totally left hanging. Before I went MIA I would read blogs of people coming back and saying sorry, and I never thought I would be one of them. I thought I was a BSer for life. Then life happened. So those of you who stuck by my side, gave me hope, lifted me up, and cheered me on, I am sorry I haven’t been here for you in over 5 months (I think 5!) And sorry to the wildcats for leaving without warning, and my PWTW I was on!

So what has been going on here?! Looks like a lot of you have had some great successes so kudos to that!

I gained back all my weight I lost while on here, and then some, so it is starting all over again. But I am used to that. When I was on here before i really thought it was coming off for good. It’s proof that it is a constant battle, and it is never over.

In a nut shell for those who are interested in where I went: I was engaged. I am not anymore. He left me in May. I have been gone since the beginning of April which is when things started getting really hard in our relationship. He has been trying to get back together with me (9 years is a long time!), but I do not feel the same anymore. I felt abandoned and hurt, and forced myself to move on. He regrets it (naturally, afterall I am gorgeous! LOL), and I feel bad not giving him another chance, but we had gone and did that too many times.

So, I have been dating (YAY!) - It feels soon, but I am just dating and going out and having fun, not looking for anything serious really. This summer has been filled with friends. Without them I would have crumbled. I have been very active including volleyball, softball, swimming, and enjoying long walks. So it was somewhat shocking when I got on the scale and realized the damage I did - which all had to do with food.

I just won a 3 month membership to a gym, and signed up yesterday. I can’t wait to go today and get back into it.

Robert - I have yet to find you again, but I did do my 10K in May. I had stopped training in April, so when it came time for the race, I was out of shape again, but I finished it although I had to do a lot walking. I hope you are still running and pushing yourself!

Sooooo yep! I am glad I am back! I hope you all have been doing great! I look forward to catching up!

Usually I have an easy time coming up with blog titles. Some reason - I have had issues. Any ways.

This past month has been an array of excuses, feelings, and high stress levels!

I just caught up on most of the blogs I am subscribed too - and it is the first time in a few weeks I really read them and commented. With that, the previous ‘paragraph’ makes me think of MJ’s blog - about who really is in charge. And really makes me think about why I have struggled, and let stress use itself to be an excuse to fall into ‘dirty’ habits. I had to type that sentence, because that is how I felt.

I feel like I have used excuses why I haven’t worked out. I have let stress bother me and used that as an excuse why I drove through that drive-thru. And worst of all - sneaking food behind peoples back. Why why why!!! I hate when I sneak food. That guilty feeling afterwards.

This past week and a half have been better. Today especially. And especially after reading some of your blogs.

Yesterday I got a call at 2am (early wednesday morning) and it was my night auditor. He said his wife fell and got a nasty cut on her head, he had to leave work to go take her to hospital. So reluctantly I had to get out of bed (this is why I HATE my job sometimes) and go to work at 2am and I had to work until 3:30pm since I had tons of catching up to do. Then I went back to dentist since my mouth is still hurting. He drilled down some of the fillings, and just said that all the nerve endings in my mouth make it sore sometimes still. Then I went to happy hour with my besties.

Then on the way home I get a call from my Jared - I want to work out tonight.  NOOOOOO!!  This is after 3 beers, 3 hours of sleep, work all day - blah blah blah. He knew this. But I did not want to fight - and quite frankly can use the workout. He wanted to go to the rec center so he can practice basketball (he is in a tournament from his old HS 3-20). Soooooo - we get to the rec center at about 8:40pm.

We went straight to the gym to shoot around. Here is the reason for my title. I realized how much I missed basketball. Then I thought about why I quit basketball in high school. Sophmore year I partially tore a ligament. It healed, I could have played junior year - but instead I was more interested in other things that didn’t require running?? I think while playing basketball last night, I realized I gave up a lot of things I loved. Mostly because I was too lazy.

I got a sewing machine for xmas in 08, I haven’t sewed anything - I have been too lazy. I got pictures developed months ago, lots of pictures from the digital camera, saying I was going to organize them. Nope, still sitting there. Too lazy.

I need to make a list of things I have skipped out on because I was too lazy. I need to finish them. I want to feel accomplished not only loosing weight - but in every aspect of my life.

Sure there are times where it is nice to lounge around and have a lazy day. But I don’t want to be that lazy person on my couch, sneaking food, and having piles of I wish I accomplished that around. And I need to remember that.

It feels good to be back. To be getting back into healthy ways. And it feels good that Jared and I are back to lovey doveyness. Work sucks still - but oh well - I just have to suck that up. Oh and after hoops, we went to the gym area - they had an indoor track which I ran a mile on and uber impressed Jared. I don’t think he really thought I could run.

So all in all - things are getting back to how they should be. I didn’t do MAJOR damage to myself. OH! And I went shopping at Old Navy today. I still fit in my smaller jean size, and that was even more motivating. THEY HAD SHORTS OUT! LOL! I bought 2 new pairs of work pants, and 4 new tops ($5 dollar fundamental sale! So i stocked on tees!)

Have a good one!!!!!!!

Hey everyone!

I should be working right now, but I am having trouble concentrating because I feel absolutely disgusting! Ugh!! The last 2 weeks have been horrible for me. I have always been the person trying to focus on positive attitude and staying on track - but it has truly been a battle for me.

I know I feel like crap because that is what I have been putting into my body - crap. I feel like I am falling into my old ways of quick bites to eat, and well eating crap. From going 3 months of dedication of hardwork - to this makes me sad. Last week I had a maintain, tomorrow I am scared to death to face the scale, but I know I have to. To see what the damage was. And even last week with a maintain, I didn’t earn that maintain.

I know why this is happening. I am beyond stressed again. But I thought I learned how to deal with my stress. Well, I guess even once you learned it, you can’t just put it in a closet and walk away. You need to practice it, and retrain yourself. New stresses are going to happen all the time, that’s life! Everyday I wake up with the best intentions, then plow! Back into the ground I go. I told my Cats next week I am up for the 2 lb challenge - and I mean it.

Work has been HORRIBLE. So busy. And then today, I get the email - my property audit is March 8th. 3 weeks! Then my boss calls today, and wants help closing the Akron property we are selling next Thursday. And I have so much here to do already!

And this is the worst part - my fiance and I have been so hard on each other. I don’t know why. Is our expectations higher now or something?? Are we just stressed because we both took a big step?? But he has been so mean, and I have been so mean. I don’t get it.

 I have off tomorrow and Saturday, and although it would be a good idea to come in since I am behind on work - I need to stay home and regroup. I need to restock, regroup, and answer these questions I have and really ’self-reflect’ these last 2 weeks.

Today when I get home, I am doing my laundry and cleaning up. Nothing helps you with a fresh start like a clean house. I have some healthy groceries from shopping on Tuesday so I don’t have to worry about food. Tonight is our one friends birthday so we are going out. Our bar doesn’t have food there, but I am going to be DD so that I don’t consume alcohol calories.

This BUMP in the road will not stop me. I will find myself again -and that fighter I am. I will be back to my bubbly fun self. Tomorrow is a me day. I am transferring $$ from my savings and gonna go treat myself to either nails or tanning (i know, tanning is horrible - but I rarely go - and love that calm feeling laying there. I havent’ been in at least 2 years - and really want to go!) Or maybe a new haircut. Hmm, who knows. My world will be mine again.

 I am glad to see a lot of my buddies doing so great, and having such successes! I will be there rejoicing my success with you again soon!!!!

(((((((huggggsssss))))))))))

So last week was pretty much a disaster for my eating. I know what I did wrong, and why. I was just so blah! Life was definitely crazy last week - but I know it is during those crazy times controlling my urges and eating is when I can really say okay - I got this. But it wasn’t that horrifying of a week!

 I still can’t believe I am engaged. My question for you was do you wear your engagement and/or wedding ring at the gym? I FINALLY worked out yesterday after 5 days  of nada - and it felt GREAT! I really miss the gym when I don’t go. I didn’t wear my ring - although I would love to. I don’t like the idea of sweating with it. I don’t know. Do you wear it? Any positives or negatives? I already feel naked without it - but I don’t know how I feel about wearing it at the gym. Help!!!!

Sooooooooo, I wasn’t gonna say anything but - yesterday was my first full day NO cigarettes. I am on day 2. Although it is not horribly hard yet, I have a horrible headache, and my fiance says that he got one when he quit smoking. And I notice I want to use quitting smoking as an excuse to eat. I have been wanting to quit, I just never liked the idea of changing so much about my habits at once. But I ran out of cigs right at the end of Sat. night, and took it as a sign not to buy anymore. Wish me luck. I really am trying!!!

Today - I leave work in an hour, going home, laying down b/c of my head, workout at 8:30, home to sleep.

OH! And after 1pm tomorrow - I have meetings the next 3 days so I will not be around much for blogs and forums - so I want to give you a heads up. Sorry Not looking forward to meetings - they are long, and boring, and long, and boring. And they don’t feed us healthy food, and all my fellow managers smoke pretty much so it will be a battle.

 Hope everyone is having a great start to the week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That’s right - no more hand waving to the single ladies song for this girl!!!!!!

 Yesterday I went home from work early because I was not feeling well - and it was my boyfriend’s day off because he had an eye doc’s appt yesterday.

So laying there with my heating pad - he came upstairs - said my full name, that he loves me, and couldn’t wait any longer - then pulled out the box and asked me to marry him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got teary eyed - no balling - I was in complete shock!!!!!!! We have been together 8 years - 8 years!!! I seriously, NEVER, in a million years thought this was going to happen. I thought I would have to trap him with getting pregnant or something JK!!

 I AM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW! SO SO SO SO HAPPY!!!! The ring is gorgeous - and I already saw the band b/c it came in a BEAUTIFUL SET. I CAN’T BELIEVE THE MAN I LOVE AND WANT TO BE WITH FOREVER - PROPOSED!!!!! Seriously - I am surprised no one had a heart attack yesterday after calling people!!!!!!!

So yes - that is my BIG NEWS!!!!!!!!!

Talk about another reason to keep getting sexier and healthier!!!!!!!!!

 HAVE A GREAT DAY EVERYONE!!!! My first full day as an engaged woman!!!!!

was eeehhhhhhhhh!

Friday night I went over my cousin’s new place to watch a movie. It was nice to vent and talk with her - and just chillax.

Saturday - worked, then worked out. I started to run and my knees were aching. I was like noooo, I can keep going - push past the pain. Nope - the pain won. So I walked my incline and reached my 800 calorie burn. 

Any good suggestions on knee stuff? I tore a ligament when I was young in basketball - and I used to wear braces. But icy hot or any of that stuff do you good?? I have never used it before. I iced them when I got home.

So Saturday night it was a girls night w/ 2 of my friends. OMG - before going out, I really did not want to drink. We went to this one bar for dinner and drinks. I was healthy (and so was my new workout buddy!!! I am so proud of her!!) except that my grilled chicken wrap was a flour not wheat. AND the drinks were going down like water. I am sure I comsumed like at least 600 calories (probably more) or alcohol. But it was a fun night without the guys - which was much needed.

Needless to say SUNDAY - was the ultimate BUM day! I took my bf to work at 9, then came back home and tried to fall back asleep. Couldn’t. So I watched TV until noon! Then fell asleep! I set my alarm for 3pm to workout - NOPE! I was so BLAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

Then I got the text from my friend Megan (aka, kickboxing and volleyball 6 nights a week friend!) - open gym at 5 and 7. So I said I WILL BE THERE AT THE 7 one!!! Although as soon as I sent the promise, I was like, noooo, I want to be a bum all day! I knew I had to go. So I picked up my bf at 5, did some laundry, cleaned up our place, and went to volleyball at 7:30. After an hour and a half of that - I FELT 200x better!

There weren’t many people there so it was 4 on 4, which meant a lot of work. I am so sore today! I told her that I would be at kickboxing on Tuesday - so it will be my first class! I can’t wait! And after kickboxing probably do open gym with her again. Tonight I workout at 8:30 after visiting my mom and dad, and getting bf from work.

It makes me happy to know that if I am feeling blue or blah - a little fun physical activity can perk me right up.

ALSO - last night my bf said he had good news. Well our one friend is selling her camper. It is already on a campsite which is 600 for the year, and she would see the camper so cheap to us. We can afford it. It is an old old old camper, you can just tell it needs some TLC - which I love projects so it would be perfect for me. We love camping, and going to my family’s cottage - so this would be just right for us. It would be the first ‘major’ purchase we did - and it would be ‘our’ place to getaway for weekends and such. And there is a ton of hiking and parks. It is in Deersville ohio which is 2 hours from us. I think we are definitely leaning towards a YES! We just want to see it in person. Anyone own one? I have been trying to think of negatives, and for the price, there just isn’t many. I mean, if it needs repairs - we are in an okay place to fix it. If we need to sell it down the road - it doesn’t cost much to keep it on the lot until we are able to sell it. I really don’t know why we WOULDN’T buy this. So I am waiting to see it in person, and what site it is to check their ‘rules’ or if they have any hidden fees or anything. They have had the camper for years, and said they just haven’t made it out as often as they like. Any thoughts?!

 So yes, although I was a bit blah and blue all weekend - thinking back, I had fun, was smart, and ehh, ready for next! LOL!

Have a great week all!

Morning Buddies!

 After a long week of strictly sticking to my workout plans and food goals, I am down 1.8 again. Last week I said I was not disappointed, and this week I will say I am a little.

But I am the type of person who finds the positive in everything possible. So, on the drive to work I was thinking how I could lift my spirits. I decided to do the math. I know, I know 1.8 is a healthy loss, and I am eating right and working out - so on the outside it is all good - I just really put my heart into it hardcore this week, and was hoping to see something a wee bit better!

 Okay- So the math:

• My main goal for looking good is especially for this summer to wear shorts, tank-tops, and possibly even a bikini so doing the math if my body wants to lose 1.8 lbs a week will be the following:
• Taking us to June 1st gives me 18 weeks: 18×1.8=32.40lbs which would put me at 190.0. I think just being under 200 by summer would make me happy. Of course I want more more more! LOL, but I need to stay grounded and realistic with my goals. Sitting here trying to remember the last time I was under 200, *cue jeopardy music* I honestly don’t know. I know when I was 21 I was. Then I bloated up from there.
• My birthday is March 31st, so at this pace 9wks x 1.8 =16.2 which would put me at 206.2 - so yes with the taste of onederland in my mouth - it would be reasons to jump for joy.

I know - 2 weeks in a row loosing 1.8 lbs is not the end of the world - I know that!!! But putting numbers in sight and knowing that it is not a race to the finish - just the finishing and maintaining part that matters - is important for me to keep my head straight towards.

 So this week - keep on my running and exercise, and continue my healthy eating and see what next friday gives me.

Oh, plus I have pick 4 numbers for tonight - last week was 224.2, now I am 222.4 - so yeah, I might as well give it a whirl. Now that would be a really positive reason! LOL!

 Have a fabulous weekend everyone!

Well - as some of my buddies know - my boyfriend sliced the tip of his index finger off, and nicked the middle while at work (he works at a deli - so it was on the slicer -eeewww!). It is gross!!! So I spend half the day Saturday taking him to emergency room and such, and I was caring for him all Friday night and Saturday, and Sunday morning. It kind of makes me feel good to be able to take care of him - and have him all lovey-dovey and appreciative of it.

Anyways - so according to my last blog I had a strict plan set in place. I have followed it to a T. Even with my babe’s injuries. I almost had a hissy (okay I DID have a hissy fit) Saturday, b/c it was my day off - and since I am the manager I really don’t get one - but work called and said one of my employees were in the hospital with their kid and he was running late - and the morning shift girl had to leave. That was at 4 - and I was UGGG!! I spent all morning taking care of my babe, and at 4:30 I planned on taking care of me at the gym! But the AM girl ended up staying until 5:30 till he got there - so phew! I know it is part of my job - but when I have premade plans and goals in place - I hate to be disturbed!  hehe!

So I am up to running 1.5 miles straight at 4.8mph. I have been going up to 5 the last .25 miles though. I did my hour workout and weights Saturday - and my cardio burn of 850 on Sunday!! Whoop whoop!! Right now my main focus is still on endurance and distance for running - not the speed!

 Sunday after my workout, I went with my cousin to Pittsburgh, PA to go to Ikea to help her shop for her new house. I must say, I was disappointed! When I lived in MI I was only like 15 minutes from the Canton, MI Ikea - and that store seemed 4x as big! There were barely any ‘displays’ in PA! But she got some great ideas, and a few small things. Mostly gonna be ordering online. 

I was so exhausted when I got home that I passed out right away after changing Jared’s bandage!

This morning I was nauseated and don’t know why! No, I am not pregnant - but just really queasy feeling. It is finally starting to go away thank goodness!!! I am eating my lunch now without any issues!

 So, did your weekend fly by too?! Sheesh!!! I think I caught up in my forums and blogs and such!!!!

 Here are some quotes from glitter images - but I don’t know how to put images in here so I will just put the quotes. Insert cute animals by quotations. LOL!

 It takes 72 muscles to frown, and only 14 to smile! - AKA - GET YOUR SMILE ON!!

Good things come from those that wait, but all the really excellent stuff will be gone by then! - AKA - DON’T WAIT FOR THE GOOD THINGS - LETS GO GET THEM!!!

Okay - i have to get going! Have a great week everyone!!!!!!!

Happy Friday my buddies!! The weekend is upon us once again - which usually means we are all weighing in sometime in the next few days!

Last week I weighed 226 and this week 224.2 for a 1.8 lb loss! I am very happy for the loss - and I am not knocking it at all - but as you may know going from a 3.8lb loss one week to 1.8 the next is somewhat, I don’t want to say dissapointing because I am very happy with 1.8 and not disappointed but I cannot think of a word I want to use! - so I will say makes me want to look at what I did different this week. It is all about learning and adjustments. AGAIN I want to say I AM  happy with 1.8!!!

So the differences:

• Last week I was very much more active at work. This week I was mostly in my office at my desk with not much movement or physical work. Therefore, I will be working more out in my rooms with hands-on  work vs office work (which is good for my work place too!)
• PS I am going to start using LW and TW for last week and this week!
• LW I ate NO white carbs at all! TW- I definitely ate more of them then usual. IE: LW my chips were Harvest Grain (100% whole week) vs TW Baked Lays. TW I had made a healthy beef strogonoff with egg noodles vs LW healthy chicken alfredo with whole wheat linguine. TW I mauled 2 soft tacos with flour toritillas, and TW in the beginning of the week I was out of my 35 calorie whole wheat bread, so I had used at least 4 slices of my bf’s white bread. TW I have been loving me some Smart One’s breakfast sandwichs for breakfast, but they are 270 calories which is great - but the outer sandwich part was white. So I am gonna cut those out.
• Definitely did not eat as much fruit or veggies TW.
• My workouts were exactly the same - I did not really challenge myself TW at all!
• Water is the same.
• Usually I only go out one night a week, TW I went out twice - so I had an extra 400 calories from alcohol.

I want to make sure no one thinks I am being nit-picky or petty - just want to share my thinking process of differences (and again I AM PROUD OF MY 1.8! lol!). I often read blogs about what am I doing wrong? So to anyone who feels that way - food journel is so important. I write everything there - about stress, workouts, energy levels, and how heavy my ‘daily’ activites are (ie shopping, work, errands, etc).

So this is my plan and my goals for this fabulous new week I have  been given RIGHT NOW! (PS - Yes, I am already resting today - but we are going bowling tonight! yAy!)

1-15 Friday:                          Rest

1-16 Saturday:                      Run 1.5

                                             Weights

                                             Hour workout

1- 17 Sunday:                        Run 1.5

                                             Cardio burn day: at least 800 Calories

1-18 Monday:                       Rest

1-19 Tuesday:                       Run at least 1.5

                                             Weights

                                             Hour workout

1-20 Wednesday:                  Rest

1-21 Thursday:                      Run at least 1.5

                                             Cardio burn day: at least 800 calories

                                             Light weights

1-22 Friday:                          Run at least 1.5

1-23 Saturday:                      Run 1.5

                                             Weights

                                             Hour workout

FOOD RULES

*NO white carbs at all!

*NO eating past 9pm

*Resist urges to eat extra food

*At least 2 fruits and 2 veggies a day

*NO snacking unless hungry - in which it will be a well portioned, reasonable snack.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!!!!!! Go do something fun!!!

And I want to say GOOOOO WILDCATS at weigh-in and YAY FOR THE PINK LADIES - our first week has started!! Wahoo!!

Oh yeah! I almost forgot! I did hit loosing 24lb which is a 10% loss from my starting weight! Wahoo! And I am 4 lbs from my mini-goal and being in the 2-teens!!!